There sure are a lot of geeks out there. I’ve noticed that I’m dealing with a lot more thin geeks lately. I think that’s a good thing.
Thin geeks are usually thin. They are often young. They have grown up in an era where body health and business fashion are important and they tend to keep themselves well-kempt.
Thin geeks are often concerned about the environment and reducing or reversing our ill effects on it. They are often philanthropists and donate to charities because they believe in them.
Thin geeks aren’t often wealthy, but have a good retirement planned for themselves. Thin geeks know their stuff generally pretty well, but are blindered into thinking that their way is the only/best way to accomplish something due to their inexperience. Thin geeks will often tout Linux as the penultimate OS, and will often needlessly toil in ancient inefficient console-based editors just to increase their geek cred.
On the other hand, Fat Geeks are the ones who have been toiling in the basement since the 70’s trying to make the internet go.Fat geeks are usually not thin in stature. Many fat geeks find that hygene is something best left to business folk and moviestars, and have been wearing the same black T-shirt since their moms allowed them to rent out her basement.
Fat geeks are often concerned with the inflationary price of Twinkies and other “junk” food. Generally, they are unconcerned with the number of rainforests that McDonalds mows down every time they eat a Big Mac.
Fat geeks usually have wads of cash on hand, but no savings to speak of. They are very familiar with the deep innards of the realm of computers that they focus on, but often spout fallacies about anything outside that realm just to sound knowledgable on everything. Fat geeks will often tout Linux as the penultimate OS, and will often needlessly toil in ancient inefficient console-based editors just because it’s what they know and that GUI stuff can’t possibly be any better.
Bah! Geeks are doomed.
What we need is a nice plump geek. Someone with a little experience under his belt so he knows what he’s talking about and where he has to go to learn what he doesn’t know. Someone who dresses for the occasion, and although work is not necessarily an occasion that merits formal dress, it does require a clean shirt.
A plump geek spends money to live life well, but keeps enough stashed away so that when retirement rolls around, he can still live happily. He spends some of his money on causes, but doesn’t consume himself with them.
A plump geek wouldn’t be afraid to use Windows to get the job done, if it’s the easiest thing to get the clients to understand. And although he would prefer to use Linux for many things, he realizes that it’s not always the right tool for the job.
Plump geeks use syntax-highlighting GUI editors with code completion to get the work done faster so that the fun can begin earlier.
You smell. Shower.
