Asymptomatic

There must be intelligent life down here

Chain Email Sucks
December 01, 1999

I get upwards of 100 messages each day from individuals and various mailing lists. I simply don’t have time to sift through everything. But if you’re someone I know, I tend to read your email before someone I don’t. Which is why it aggravates me when I get chain email.

Chain email is that kind you know, which usually entices you to forward it to as many people as you can, either in an effort to save a starving/dieing girl in Botswana or to prevent you from being cursed by a horrible ailment or bad luck.

Christmas Party Woes
December 01, 1999

The paper instructed the reader to indicate how many would be attending the company Christmas party this year. Some people had taken to putting lines for numbers (like || for 2), some actually wrote numbers.

Of course, this is a problem - I’m not going.

Alternate spellings of Oompa-Loompa
November 30, 1999

Wow, what a hot topic. If you’ve never read or seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, then you probably have no idea of what I’m speaking.

Oompa-Loompas are these little orange men in white overalls and green hair that perform labor in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

Are you possessed by demons?
November 30, 1999
asymptomatic

I don't really think it's a demon that's possessed me, but I woke up this morning with a strange thought in my head, and I had to act upon it. See, I have my alarm set to go off at 7am. For some reason, the maker of the clock decided that 7 minutes was enough snooze time for anyone, and because of this, I usually actually get out of bed at 7:28.

There is an odd side-effect, however. I'm sure that people who use their snooze alarms notice this (especially this guy I knew in college who would snooze himself from 8 until 11), but you can have some pretty funky dreams in those small little segments of time. The best part about them is that they are so memorable.